Acne takes over my thoughts

Hakan Kimeiga Alpay
2 min readAug 15, 2018

It’s not that fun. I really just want to work, but when I look in the mirror in my own bathroom or the one at work, I feel like I’m losing traction.

It’s not really that I have self deprecating thoughts, I just feel exhausted. It’s been several years of creams, ointments, masks, moisturizers, and lots of articles and research.

All for naught. I probably could have used none of those products, and never read an article on acne and had the exact same skin (or at least very similar).

I think cystic acne just runs in my mom’s side of the family, and so I got it, and that’s all there is. How could you fight hormones this strong (without something with as many side effects as accutane)?

I visited my dermatologist yesterday and it went well. He prescribed the same stuff as last year. I also have dandruff (several years of it) and so he prescribed three things for that. I registered online for the stuff and we’ll get some and some will come in the mail.

Sigh. I’ll probably finish the products as usual like last year and the won’t be much change.

It will definitely all be gone when I pass away, so there’s that! Until then, I can only put this stuff on my face every day and night, and try my best to focus on my work.

I wish I could be one of those people born with perfect skin but I’m sure they’re dealing with some other ailment that I don’t have to worry about, so maybe it all balances out.



Hakan Kimeiga Alpay

Part-time game developer, full-time daydreamer. Loves Counter-Strike, Swiss Style, and architecture.